The Single Girls Guide to Jumping Back into the Dating World
If you’ve been following this segment at AHS you know that I’ve been taking my sweet time in getting back into the dating world and quite frankly, loving every minute of it! I haven’t wanted to rush or jump too soon mostly because I wanted to make sure I had processed and moved on from my last relationship in a healthy way. The last thing that I would want is to bring old baggage into new potential romance. But, there comes a time in every single girl’s life when she starts dreaming about romance once again, this is how it happened for me. One night I was revelling in my little world over a glass of wine and thought, I could bring more value into this beautiful life of mine. Cue me diving into the wildly intimidating world of app dating for the first time in six years. It hasn’t always been easy, there are a lot of… interesting people out there. But I can say that I’ve learned a thing or two in the last few months when it comes to navigating dating again. Maybe you’re here reading this because you’re a fellow single person who is losing hope in romance. Or maybe you’re just here for a laugh, either way, I welcome you, my friend! Let’s dive into dating together.
Decide to Jump In
This first step can be one of the scariest when you’ve been out of the dating game for a while. But if dating is something that you feel pulled to pursue at this point in time, muster up that courage my friend and jump right on in! It might start out confusing or frustrating but take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. We all hate app dating! No seriously, it is the worst. I feel you, but it is 2023 and unfortunately, this is how we do this now apparently. Not exactly romantic, but when you find the right person, maybe you two can concoct your own story that doesn’t include scrolling through hundreds of profiles, looking for someone who isn’t holding a fish. I know, a girl can dream! But in all seriousness, deciding to jump in for me meant spending a couple of weeks just talking to people with no intention of meeting, I simply wanted to get reacquainted with talking to people in this kind of context again. Sometimes jumping in starts with a toe dip. You have to take this at the pace that feels good for you!
Set Clear Intentions
Knowing what you want out of the dating process is key because let’s be honest, nobody is swimming in extra time, so the last thing you want to be doing is wasting your time. Setting clear intentions for yourself in terms of what you’re looking to get out of dating as well as what you’re looking for in another person is key. Otherwise, you will find yourself mindlessly scrolling with little success.
Positivity is Key
I’ve been trying to make light of dating. I know how this sounds, but I genuinely believe that the attitude you bring to dating is key. Have you ever heard the saying you catch more flies with honey? I mean, I’m not sure why you would want to catch flies? There are probably better analogies for this. Now that I think of it, the dating world is filled with flies, let’s just say I recommend getting a good fly swatter. But in all seriousness, your energy matters. If you go on a date thinking it’s going to suck, chances are it probably will. I’ve had a lot of first dates that didn’t turn into anything but I can genuinely say they weren’t all that bad because I decided I would have fun and just focus on meeting someone new. This brings me to my next point…
Embrace Curiosity
In the past, I went on a first date thinking “Maybe this will be it! Maybe this will be the first date I’ll remember for the rest of my life. Maybe this will be the date I’ll tell my kids about one day.” What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart, but the reality of dating in 2023 is that most of the first dates you go on won’t be this. With this consideration, I quickly abandoned that mentality. Instead, I pivoted and focused on meeting and learning about a new person, that’s it. I strive to ask thoughtful questions and seek answers that will help me get a sense of who this person is in front of me and whether they align with the intentions I’ve sent for myself. Be curious about people and strive to connect through commonality and humour. This has really helped me in having positive dating experiences regardless of whether a first date turns into anything substantial.
Be you
Easier said than done I know, but the more you embrace the magically, unique human you are, the easier the dating process will be. It will feel lighter and less pressure-filled because you’re not trying to be someone you think the other person wants. Also, you’re more likely to find someone who likes you for everything that makes you weird, fun and authentically you.
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