Keeping Moments Special After Nine Years Together
As some may know I (Nicole) have been with my now husband for over nine years. With all of these years under our belt, you can imagine it’s taken a lot of thought and intention to keep things special and sincere. One of the things that has always been the most important to us is taking the time to have quality experiences together where we’re both fully engaged in the discussion or activity, so today I wanted to share our favourite ways to keep moments special after almost a decade.
It’s all in the little things
When it comes to gestures of kindness and being thoughtful with your partner and their needs, no small act goes unnoticed and is always appreciated. My husband knows that before my first coffee of the day, I’m not very present so if he’s up before me he’ll make a French press or a latte without me asking and when I’m up before him I do the same. We will then take at least 10 minutes to have coffee together in the morning. Sometimes this is great and we end up having long, meaningful conversations for hours on end. On other days we’ll not even make it the full ten minutes before we both need to be off to the races, heading into our busy days, but taking even those few moments to quietly connect before the world wakes up is a daily ritual that makes me love him all the more.
Talk it out
When we first started dating many years ago, we made a rule that I am proud to say we have kept since, which is if you have a feeling whether it be a grievance, a concern or just a general emotional moment, talk it out. It doesn’t matter how challenging or easy it is, you always discuss what’s on your mind. It can sometimes turn into arguments but for the most part, it just means we’re providing space for each other to express how we’re feeling and keeps us on the same page. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it sucks and it would be very easy to pretend whatever we’re feeling is fine and leave the room but we honour this rule because we know it will be better for us in the long run.
Do away with date night
This is probably our best kept secret, but we don’t actually have standard plans on a weekly basis to spend time together like the classic “date night” might entail. Instead, we give ourselves permission to be a little more flexible and each week try to find some time to enjoy each other’s company whether that be watching a show together over dinner, spontaneous after-work drinks, or going out on a whim. We like to keep it breezy not only because it’s fun but because it keeps an element of surprise in our relationship. We’re both busy people so the fact that we’re making space for each other in our busy schedules is meaningful and intentional. Whether or not you're married (surprise, it’s the same) making time for your favourite person in the whole world even when it’s not the most convenient for you shows that you care and will always show up for your person, and that means more than any weekly dinner.
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