The Single Girl’s Guide to Dating… Yourself
It’s Stephanie here, your favourite single girl. Let’s talk about dating. No, I’m not going to be sharing my top tips for dating and navigating the daunting world of dating apps. That shit is hard and I am no expert. Is anyone?
If you’re reading this you might be similarly single like me, or you might be my mom, hi mom! Or perhaps you just ended your last relationship and feel immediately ready to jump into the dating world with your whole self. If that’s you, kudos friend! I hope you find exactly what it is that you’re looking for, with clear intentions I know you will!
But maybe you’re more like me, reflecting on your last relationship and feeling like you need to spend some much-needed time loving and caring for yourself. I’ve committed to a year of being single, you might even call it a sabbatical from dating. I wanted to do this for two reasons: Firstly, I want to ensure that I am at my absolute best the next time romance enters my world. Secondly, I wanted time and space to reconnect with myself and frankly to just spend some time loving ME!
This is going to be a vulnerable one, friends, so buckle up! I hope that these tips are helpful in reconnecting with yourself and being your own best partner so that one day you can be the best partner to someone else.
Discover how you love
I love to talk about love languages! Heck, Nicole and I did a whole blog post about them. In fact, go give it a read and come back. I’ll wait.
Oftentimes we only focus on love languages in the parameters of how you like to be loved by others. This is so important, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also important to discover how you like to love others. This will ensure you’re better equipped to have an open dialogue about loving one another in future partnerships.
“But Steph, how do you figure that out if you don’t have a partner to love?” Thank you so much for asking!. Luckily you can discover this whether you’re single or not. I encourage you to reflect on how you show gratitude and appreciation to friends or family members. If upon reflecting the answer isn’t coming, practice makes perfect! Try showing love to a loved one in each avenue of the five love languages. You’ll likely discover pretty quickly which love language feels most natural and authentic to you. In addition, if you don’t know how you like to be loved, do the same for yourself! The category that brings you the most joy is likely how you like to be loved.
Figure out what works for you ;)
This one is pretty simple and I won’t be going into too much detail because I’m sure there are other blogs out there that will! I think the wink face serves its purpose here. Bottom line, how can you expect a future partner to know how to please you if you don’t know how to please yourself? For some, getting to know your own body intimately might feel a bit awkward or uncomfortable in the beginning, but stick with it because figuring this out, friends is so important and so worth it!
Take yourself out on a date
I mean, you had to know this one was coming right? It’s in the title.
Time to put all of the above into practice and do something for yourself that makes you feel joyfully loved and yes, it can be as simple as taking yourself out for coffee.
If you’re someone who feels awkward or uncomfortable doing things alone, ease yourself in. Friendship dates are some of the best kinds of dates out there because guess what, your friends already know, love and support you. No awkward conversation or risk of being ghosted? Sign me up!
One of the things I struggled with halfway through my dating sabbatical was feeling like I couldn’t go out and do fun things anymore because I didn’t have a partner to do them with. Boy was I wrong! You know you best, so you get to show love to yourself day in and day out, in the perfect way for you. Doesn’t that sound great? If you ever get stumped for self-date activities, why not make a list of the things you’re dying to do and start setting some dates? That’s what has worked best for me. Lists are my love language.
Dating myself over this past year has been one of the most rewarding periods of my life thus far. Has it had its challenges? Obviously. What relationship doesn’t have its ups and downs? But I’m grateful for this time because I know the relationship I have with myself is the one that will carry me through whatever comes my way.
Want more self-care tips and ideas? Check out our Self-care section and our Instagram to stay in the know.
