The Single Girl’s Guide To: Enjoying your own company
When you’ve been in a long-term relationship for years, sharing your life with someone, it can feel overwhelming to think about being with yourself again when that relationship ends. As your newly single sister, I’ve been there! I’m still there. We’ve heard it said time and time again that the most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Unfortunately, we don’t always realize just how important this relationship is until a romantic relationship ends. In hopes of helping my fellow single friends out there, I want to share what’s been working for me in enjoying my own company. These are tools I want to hold onto, continuing even when another romantic relationship comes along and I encourage you to do the same. You deserve to put yourself first regardless of your relationship status.
Build Rituals You Love
Building rituals I love has been one of the most important pieces of enjoying my own company because it has given structure to my days and moments of the day to look forward to. I’ve specifically created Morning, Evening and Weekend Rituals, so that no matter what happens in my day I have moments of calm consistency that I’ve carved out to enjoy time by myself. If you’re curious about my Morning Ritual, I highly recommend you check out our blog post, “Building a Morning Routine You Love.”
My evening ritual is quite simple but full of self care and relaxation. I strive to turn off electronics by 10pm, tv, phone, social media, computer, but I’ll be honest some nights I’m better at this than others. After I turn on relaxing folk music, I jump into my night skincare routine. I recommend taking your time with whatever kind of skincare routine you have, you get one skin, make sure you take care of it! After that I brush my teeth, fill a water glass and head to my cozy bed where I read until 11pm. Then it's lights out!
I’ve also incorporated weekend rituals that aren’t as specific as night or morning rituals, but they are consistent things I do every weekend such as workout, walk, run errands and clean. Anything else I want to do is up to me, but I find I enjoy everything outside my weekend rituals more now, knowing that I’ve accomplished these other pieces that are important to me!
Make the Everyday Special
Let’s face it, most days aren’t all that special. So it’s up to you to make the everyday feel like a blank canvas full of possibility. How I’ve been able to do this for myself is by romanticizing little moments in life that feel boring or mundane. For example, I love to light a candle while I work because it makes working at my desk feel relaxing and focused. It also brings warmth and a calming aroma to my space, perfect to support thoughtfulness throughout my workday.
On weekends when I go for a walk in the city, I treat the walk as if I’m Carrie Bradshaw in New York, strutting confidently, enjoying my time in a city that I love to live in. On my walk, I pick up a small coffee, listen to music that lifts my spirit, people watch, window shop, all while completing my errands. Though these small acts of self kindness are just that, they make my day feel a little more intentional, adding a touch of magic to what could normally feel mundane.
Set Boundaries for Yourself
Setting boundaries is one that I often struggle with, especially now living on my own, not having another person to answer to. When you’re single, living alone, you can literally sit on the couch all night, watching tv and eating Haagen Daz Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream if you want to because there are no witnesses. Though I can happily admit I have partaken in this particular indulgence more than once, one of my goals is being thoughtful about my nutrition and wanting to be aware of when this boundary gets crossed. I try to set myself up for success in this goal by planning meals ahead of time. I will be the first person to admit that when I don’t have a plan or prep prior, my nutrition is the first thing to go out the window. So, ahead of the week I plan lunches and dinners for the whole week to ensure my body has the fuel it needs to be at its best.The other way I’m striving to set boundaries is on my time consuming television and social media because frankly I don’t love how I feel when I consume too much of it.
Embrace the Quiet Moments
One of my goals now is to embrace quiet moments, and there are a lot of these when you’re identifying a new path for yourself. It’s in these quiet moments that we truly learn to love yourself, offer grace for our mistakes and enjoy the time you have with yourself. In these moments I love to journal, read and reflect on my life.
Create a Peaceful Sanctuary
Nicole has been an incredible help to me as I continue to make my space my own. When you’ve gone from sharing the space with a partner to being in it alone, it can feel like a museum of memories, both joyful and heartbreaking. So as you pivot to a new path and focus on enjoying your own company, I highly recommend taking the time to change up your space! It can be as simple as moving furniture around or going all out and re-furnishing your place head to toe. Make the space uniquely yours, so that it’s a home full of peace where you can retreat in the safety of your own company.
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